trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
