He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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