your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
