i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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