The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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