yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
