Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
