My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
