I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
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