shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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