Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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