my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
