you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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