Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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