maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
