Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
