How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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