I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
