final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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