Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Randomize
