no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
