I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
