We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
