I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
