RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
