I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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