Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
