She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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