You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
whose ass print is on the piano?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
