What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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