I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Randomize
