don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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