i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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