Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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