consequently i now know what mace tastes like
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
