my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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