I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
