hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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