i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
