there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
