Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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