I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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