I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
