I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
