Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
