I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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