I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
