apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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