States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
