Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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