watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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